Female. 19. Jamaican.

I wish my wit would show when I speak instead of shriveling up and dying as soon as I open my mouth.
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astound:

I just want to lie in bed and not participate in life

(Source: astound, via majesty)

dannerzz:

my mom has been a cop for over 20 years and she is the one who constantly warns me about police aggression and young male cops and told me that if you’re ever alone on a rural road and a cop throws their lights on to put on your four ways and drive to the next gas station before stopping because so many cops are scum and it’s not worth the chance of getting hurt. the fact that SHE feels the need to tell me this shit scares me to death

(via goldendiorrkayy)

catsbeaversandducks:

First to blink loses! [flickr]

(via tastefullyoffensive)

tastefullyoffensive:

"Skipity bopity boo I got the paper for you." [x]

(via somereallygreathair)

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

(via guy)

anyth1ng3ut0rdin4ry:

I have an idea son, why don’t we drive to the nearest cliff and see if the law of gravity applies to you.

anyth1ng3ut0rdin4ry:

I have an idea son, why don’t we drive to the nearest cliff and see if the law of gravity applies to you.

(via goldendiorrkayy)

bnycolew:

This is scary as fuck

bnycolew:

This is scary as fuck

(Source: lolfactory, via goldendiorrkayy)

kforshort:

spacetwinks:

[YOU HAVE BEEN GRACED WITH POWER OF CREATION IN THIS WORLD OF FANTASY AND MAGIC, BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS. WHAT WILL YOUR CHARACTER BE?]

Human Male, Warrior

[ARE YOU SERIOUS?]

Yes

[YOU BORING PIECE OF SHIT]

[FINE WHATEVER. NOW DESIGN YOUR CHARACTER.]

White, Thin But Fit Able Body

[I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING]

With a Scruffy Beard

[FUCK YOU]

(via middleschooltrackstar)

fasterfood:

thank god these criminals were caught, i feel safer now

fasterfood:

thank god these criminals were caught, i feel safer now

(via perks-of-being-chinese)